I AM A BORING WRITER

[a boring writer]

Whooooooo, go me.

[Arret Brown]

Aren't we all.

[selm]

Good evening to you, acquaintances who possess a similar desire to pursue a career in the literary arts. And what dull activities have we all been up to on this fine day? Anything particularly boring you would be kind enough to share?

I am currently composing a rather excellently yawn-inducing full-length novel at the moment. If you are uninterested, I would perhaps consider posting a small excerpt at a later date. I am sure you will find it quite tedious indeed.

[avon]

i'm a boring writer too! we are all awesome.

[_]

I don't know what you all are thinking, but I am clearly the most boring writer of them all. I don't wish to brag, but I am willing to bet that for sheer yawn-inducing dullness, my sentences and excessive verbage are the thing to beat. And I haven't even started doing that most dull of things, talking about my day, in which I mostly sat on my couch and sat and sat and sat and stared at my computer screen which is probably really bad for my eyes but I don't care because I needed an escape from the boredom that is my boringness. I'm not even watching the computer screen or keyboard right now, that's how boring I am. As such, I apologize for any typos. Or would, but I am sure you all have stopped reading by now because of my insufferable dullness. My eyes sting. This is probably the most interesting thing to happen to me since I began to type this paragraph of uninterestingness. Clearly this means that interesting things are bad. Boredom all the way. I would have put an exclamation mark on that but punctuation beyond periods and commas is far too interesting.

[Arret Brown]

My works are not boring. They are twenty-thousand page MASTERPIECES of art and science. They are entirely fascinating and extremely interesting to read. Who doesn't like reading about the etymology of tree names? Dare to name someone who dislikes them.

[a boring writer]

wow people actually posted in my thread


...yes we are awesome.
well i am anyways. i can't speak for you people.

[selm]

I do not wish to be the entity to start an altercation with you, Zylaa, for that would be far too interesting for my sophisticated tastes, but I must be blunt and unamusingly truthful with you when I preach my firm disagreement with those sentences. I strongly yet dully disagree with your statements, for it is factual that they are all falsehoods. The inconsistencies between what I realize to be fact and what you have been mislead to believing fact is so extreme and diverse it is almost interesting, although fortunately not quite. I would be relieved at this notion that the forum still retains the perfectly gloomy amount of weariness as it did prior to the realization of our discrepancy, but relief is far too emotional an emotion for me to experience without having to stray from boredom.

I apologize for being so terribly brief whilst voicing the lack of authenticity in your words, but I am unfortunately very busy at the moment and cannot afford to spend precious time bothering to converse with someone whose dullness could never compare with mine no matter how much effort she would never put into trying. Precious time that could be wasted staring into the great beyond, or sitting down, or writing exhaustingly dull novels. And it is for this reason you will find my statements so abbreviated instead of an unneccessary length. I cannot stress how incredibly sorry I am, although I am not sorry enough to invoke genuine emotion within me or any other creature.